This is 100% a venting post...might as well warn you now! We all have to get things off our chest now and then...and usually it helps us calm down a bit to just get it out in the air.
I am generally very selective about who I vent around/with because not everyone promotes a healthy environment for this at least not for me and what I generally hope venting will accomplish for me...a therapeutic release of pent up energy that could otherwise become more destructive if not given space to exit sooner rather than later.
I'm a professional "stuffer" (according to my counselor) and have been most of my life. I trained myself to hold things in and shove them down hard to keep them from being visible on the surface. I did this because if I could hide the pain or negative emotion, I didn't have to be vulnerable or feel as weak around others.
I say "as weak" because I pretty much always felt weak in some regard. I was the middle child of 5 kids and often felt like the "easy target" in arguments or sibling quarrels. I have an amazing family, but no family is perfect because at the end of the day we're all humans. (I've since come to have a much greater appreciation and healthier perspective of knowing and embracing my weakness.)
However, my family did a pretty good job of having a pretty "put together" imagine in public. Not because we were fake, but it's just who we are. This concept definitely promoted my ability to stuff to uphold the "almost perfect" appearance most my life. And I liked being that person! It was one of the ways I validated my worth as a grew up with pretty poor overall self-esteem!
Now that I've gotten the "poor little me" portion of my vent session out of the way...haha...I guess I could share about what's really bothering me....
I get really perturbed by injustice and mistreatment. I should probably work on that because it's really an unavoidable issue in life! However, I do think it's a very natural thing to be disturbed by. I'm also a chronic over achiever. I get frustrated when others don't hold themselves to higher standards or choose to treat me like they think I hold myself to a lower standard than I do.
I won't go into to too many details because it's not the details that are currently relevant. It's the concept.
I'm also an idealist which rarely does me too many favors except it keeps my expectations for myself high... usually unreachable. However, I'm not alone in this a nurse. We are trained to look and strive for the best possible strategy and outcome to treat our patients and not compromise in our standards for quality care.
We are also well acquainted with the fact that we can't control everything about our patient's outcome because every patient responds a little differently even if you're carrying out the exact intervention you did with the last patient with a similar diagnosis. That's what critical thinking is for!!!
The other thing that this dynamic tends to breed in us is maintaining control of absolutely any component possible since there are a host of variables outside our control. This, however, is a pretty exhausting feet! But nurses are often control freaks in one way or another, rarely in all the same areas, but definitely about something!!!
When you work this hard with this kind of mindset on a regular basis, there is a ton of potential for burnout or at minimum chronic exhaustion/fatigue...trust me... I'm all too familiar... And if you don't believe me, ask my husband or pretty much any of my immediate family members. This was in my nature before I became I nurse...ask my Mom (haha)!
I have, however, developed a few strategies to try try mitigate and manage this challenge because what nurses hate just as much as compromised standards is being slowed down in their progress by unnecessary delays like lack of energy! That's what coffee is for...
Coffee is not my only strategy, however, because even "old faithful" is not always enough to provide lasting endurance. (Trust me, I was extremely disappointed the day coffee failed to be enough to fix my mood/depressed outlook!)
A couple of strategies I've employed and found effective are positive self talk, focusing on what I have to be thankful for, and surrounding myself with people who express their appreciation for my efforts!
Expression of appreciation goes a long way for me in my world to motivate me to stay in the fight! For the most part, I've received these words of kindness from my patients and that's the biggest reward of all for me!
However, I have recently been in a season where I have had limited patient contact, against my will, because of the pregnancy complications I've been experiencing! And although I'm extremely grateful for my current job that allows me to work remotely, I have become keenly aware of feeling less appreciated/recognized for my efforts. And although it feels lame to feel dependent upon recognition or accolade, it's really amaizing how quickly my mindset and demeanor improve just from receiving one kudos, compliment, or thank you. It really can be just that simple.
So if you ever wonder if it's worth going out of your way to say a word of appreciation or thanks to any service worker of any kind...I would say, don't hesitate! It could be the thing that carries them through the rest of their day!
Rant compete...for now 😉
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