Not What Ya Bargained For

Some of us "high achiever" type have a tendency to be very motivated by "ideals." We set our expectations based on the highest standard we think should be acheivable for any given situation. That concept can be a very productive way of living....SOMETIMES!!! Like most things in life, a balance has to be maintained because, as many of us have learned the hard way, life is RARELY IDEAL!!!!

I have, for most of my life and often still, struggled with having unrealistic expectations for myself or how certain situations should play out. My brain works faster than my mouth and my body most of the time (unless I'm sleep deprived) which requires me to have to self-regulate and put external mechanisms in place that remind me to stay grounded if I don't want to feel entirely frustrated with myself or those around me. (This is somewhat common for those us that are not considered to be "neurotypical"...another fancy term you may or may not know about...in my opinion...labels matter not, but they can be helpful in understanding others or explaining yourself.)

I would say that much of my life in the last decade has been "less than ideal" for many reasons. That's not to say that much of my life wasn't also extremely wonderful. I have 3 beautiful little girls and an amazing family and extended family. My professional life as a nurse has afforded me experiences, training, personal development, skills, and opportunities I never phathomed possible. I have become someone I didn't ever imagine being in many ways (some positive and others...not so much.) I think most of us could probably find that to be true for some reason or another.

What I have found extraodinarily helpful when facing these unpleasant, unexpected, or less than ideal circumstances is actually applying the nursing process to life in general. Assess, Diagnose, Planning, Implementation and Evaluation (ADPIE): Wecome to Fundamental Nursing 101! Most humans would select very different terms, most likely, to describe how they go about problem solving in the various difficult situations in life. However, there is a good chance the concepts relate when you break it down.

I don't need to go into too much detail about each step of the process to share how it has served as a useful tool. Critical thinking is further applied to each step of the process because each decison, scenario, and dilemma can present unique challenges that need to be considered when attempting to reach the optimal outcome for each situation.

What I really appreciate about the nursing process is that it can be applied repetitively. You can assess the present situation, determine a diagnosis (the primary problem needing addressed), make a plan for addressing the identified problem, execute the determined plan, and then evalute the results and effects of the interventions. With the evaluation step, you determine if re-assessment is needed which will lead to the next diagnosis or problem that needs addresssed with the process.

Challening situations are complex and require individualized and customized "care" plans just as much as each unique patient and clinical situation or medical condition they face. Applying a systemized, evidence-based process to difficulties helps simplify certain aspects. It assists with taking the guess work out of what needs to be addressed next. It does not, however, demand you remove your intution or other experience-based strategies from the decision making or problem solving process.

The other thing I am extremely grateful for is that I have another Helper when facing the unexpected cirumcstances or the hardships of life. I struggle to understand how people who don't have a strong spiritual compent to their existence withstand some of the more delicate and vulnerable realities of humanity like death, chronic illness, broken relationships, tragedy and various forms of trauma.

The Holy Spirit has provided comfort and support in ways I can't express with words in some of my darkest moments that were mostly experienced alone, physically. My relationship with God, generally, has been and will continue to be the place I draw my greatest strength from, and I'm so thankful for the opportunities that have helped remind me that ONLY He provides from a source that is endless.

There are moments that will probably never make sense to us in this life, despite our best efforts and well-intentioned motives and plans. There are times in my career when I executed the "care plan" flawlessly and the outcome was still not the ideal therapueutic outcome that was expected. What I have determined for myself is that my ability to be secure and "ok" can't be dependent on the situations that are outside my control. My hope must remain in the ONE WHO NEVER FAILS and WHO KNOWS THE BEGINNING FROM THE END.