This phrase comes from one of my favorite worship leaders/song writers/musicians. It's a simple phrase, one I was reminded of on our Zoom church gathering this Sunday, but a profound one. I think it is so easy to get discouraged in the midst of trial and challenge, when every day feels like it's a struggle to just get through/survive. Since the onset of the COVID pandemic, I have felt like I have needed to live more "day to day" than ever before in my life.
I am usually a planner. I usually have a least one day planner, plus the schedule in my phone, and a desk calendar or one on the wall. My day planner serves as a life line for me. Even if I don't get everything done on my list for the day, it keeps my targets in sight for what I'm working towards and gives me a way to track my progress. Those little check marks next to tasks completed (even if they got moved to the next day for several weeks in a row) provide this little boost of reassurance that my day to day actions are actually accomplishing something that matters.
With the climate and rules at work constantly changing as the pandemic evolved, the only thing I could rely on was that I should expect each day to be just as unpredictable as the last. This is an exhausting way to live for any length of time. As an ED nurse, you expect each day to be different, that is half of the fun, but it is hard when the things that used to be constants to rely on in the chaos were now changing regularly.
Things like how to help a dying patient, something well engrained into any health care worker in a critical care or emergency response setting, had to be relearned! You now had to assume that everyone that presented actively trying to die was an immediate threat to every other living person's health that was in close proximity, and the priority was to protect the living before trying to save the dying. This isn't something entirely new because you always have to "ensure scene safety" before initiating efforts to resuscitate or rescue those involved in a field event. It only makes sense to make sure that no one else will be harmed in the effort to save lives.
However, COVID brought a whole new layer to this concept. Where "scene safety" primarily effects first responders arriving on a call or to the scene of an accident, potential COVID patients were bringing the "scene" with them wherever they went. Sort of like someone presenting to the ED covered in a Hazmat chemical/exposure, requiring decontamination prior to entrance into the facility to prevent others from the toxic effects of the exposure, so it was needed to ensure others were not unnecessarily exposed to a potentially COVID positive patient presenting for care/evaluation.
For the most part, the medical world has adapted and started to overcome the discomfort of some of these changes! After all, it's an expectation that things will always evolve and be ever-changing in our line of work. However, the fight against COVID in understaffed, overcrowded hospitals is far from over. I've been able to take a big breath of fresh air, so to speak, (or at least an extended break from my N95 mask) because my physical and mental limitations forced a change of environment and pace for me, not something I tolerated well or appreciated for a good chunk of time. But it was this forced change that affords me the opportunity to be writing this today.
I've now gone for several months in the past 1.5 years where I haven't even carried a day planner. I technically have one in my purse now, but it's barely been touched minus the few short months I was taking online classes. I use my phone calendar and online calendar to keep track of important events and appointments right now! I fully intend to start the new year with a fresh day planner that doesn't have mostly blank pages in it by the end of next year😂
My main point is that none of us have really been spared from this reality of constant change and uncertainty whether we are health care workers or not. Just executing normal functions like buying groceries or planning a family outing or get together were significantly impacted by the dynamics of the pandemic. And just because you weren't faced with personally witnessing the lives lost doesn't mean you didn't feel the effect of the death tolls!
And now there are more troubling (for some) decisions to be made like when and if you get vaccinated or have your children do so also. Some have been forced out of jobs because they refuse to comply with the vaccine mandate, sometimes meaning they are moving their whole family out of state to protect their livelihood. I'm not going to go into detail about my personal opinion on some of these topics, at least not today!
The chaos around us hasn't ceased, it's just changed forms a little!
I'm mostly processing the things we all have in common over the issues at hand! Regardless of the camp we sit in with our perspective or opinion, none of us have escaped the effects from the pandemic! We can all relate to one another in some regard because we're all experiencing life as we once knew it...change!
I think this provides us a special opportunity to grow and show compassion for one another on new levels. Just because someone is clearly on the other side of the fence from you, politically or otherwise, doesn't mean they aren't hurting just as much as you or haven't experienced just as much loss or grief.
My guess is that most, if not all, of us have lost a loved one or someone we know somewhat well from COVID. If you haven't experienced that, you've most certainly had an important life event like a wedding, graduation, family reunion, or funeral (for someone who passed from another cause) hijacked by the COVID crisis.
We can't mourn in the way we're used to, hugging or drawing near to one another to provide comfort. Isolation has become the expectation to promote survival, but that comes at the cost of our mental and emotional well-being at times. We're learning to be creative in how to address some of these unfamiliar circumstances which has started to relieve some of the discomfort from the constant disruption of life.
My exhortation for today goes back to the title. Progress, as we used to define it for ourselves, has felt impossible or, at best, very slow in this past season of life with the pandemic at the forefront of almost everything. Just don't give up. Be ok with what it is realistic for you to do, even if it seems, feels, or is substantially substandard for you. If you quit, you lose. If you don't quit, you win.
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