So what do you do when you get knocked down by life (or literally) and can't seem to just pull yourself back up by the boot straps like you always have been able to do before? Maybe you're depressed more deeply than you ever have been before. Maybe you lost a loved one to COVID and have been robbed of the opportunity to grieve in the way that is natural for us to do because of the dynamics of the pandemic. Maybe you lost your income or job or your marriage is in shambles and you still don't have solutions. Maybe you have a broken heart for the first time ever, or even worse, your heart has been broken for what feels like the last time you will ever be able to bear it. Your hope feels damaged beyond what seems capable of repair. You just want someone to show up and save the day or at least give you a hand so you can take a break...like a really long break that you might not come back from! Haha!
Maybe you're also a healthcare worker that has risen to this present challenge over and over again but are still grappling with the uncertainty of the future. Even if you haven't been drastically impacted yet, the fight is far from over which adds some amount of constant additional pressure. Perhaps you've disappointed yourself in some significant and paralyzing way that you haven't been able to forgive yourself for and you feel crippled, if not disabled, by the internal conflict of it all. The options are really quite endless because none of have been free from some sort of discomfort or sense of loss of control since the onset of COVID.
In gathering information for myself and seeking support to overcome the personal challenges I've been facing, heavily influenced by several of the above mentioned potentials, I have compiled a list of brief recommendations that could, at least, lessen the burden in some way, if not bring full restoration in some areas of your life entirely. I may not be elderly yet, but I can certainly relate to the helpless feeling of having fallen down and being utterly incapable of helping myself back to my feet. That's not a feeling that any human appreciates, but I will definitely say, I think it may have an even harsher sting for those of us, such as nurses, who are predominately familiar with being the helper to others, whether it's getting them back to their feet in a literal sense or not.
You'll find my suggestions, strategies, and reflections on ways to stay in the fight below. I'm contemplating writing individual posts about the majority of the following if I haven't yet already:
Practice forgiveness- I have found it exceptionally hard not to grow hardened and/or bitter internally as we have faced the dynamics of the past couple of years. But what would be really sad is if I let it all get the best of me in the long run. I've grown more sensitive to criticism and assume the worst more often than not, especially when dealing with others. However, I was recently reminded of some really good advice to keep short accounts of wrongs against me. It doesn't mean that I don't acknowledge the pain of the mistreatment or wrongdoing, but it does mean I am quick to forgive and move past it. After all, I'm a human just like everyone else that is just as capable of behaving poorly to others, especially when I feel offended first, just like most people would in the same situation. None of us are better than the other regardless of what you can see on the surface. Unforgiveness doesn't harm anyone but yourself at the end of the day because it doesn't affect the person who harmed you. It simply eats away at you slowly like a cancer that may go undetected for a long time, and then sadly, make itself known in a very abrupt and scary way. So let go of offense if there is any way you can because it will only bring you more pain in the long run if you don't.
Be thankful- I'll keep this brief because I just completed an entire post on gratitude called "In all things...give thanks." Check it out for more on this topic. The only other thing I will say is that thankfulness is a great way to combat the negativity that is really hard to escape in our surroundings right now! Don't neglect it or underestimate the difference it can make for you and others around you!
Be quick to repent/humble yourself- When you are wrong, admit it quickly! You will be more respected for it than if you try to hide your shortcomings! Great leaders let others know when they have made mistakes because we all do! The faster we admit our fault the faster we can recover from it also! Some of the best advice I received in the past year was, "if you are going to fail, fail fast! And then turn back around, get back up, and figure out quickly your next plan of action!" I'm not a fan of failure, but I would certainly prefer to bow out gracefully before I make an even bigger mess than pretend I am going to be able to make it through and prolong/extend the misery.
Forgive yourself- This point is equally as important, if not more, than being quick to forgive others. I am my own worst critic, and what I find acceptable for others, often doesn't apply to me from my perspective which is quite hypocritical. So don't make your standards for yourself higher than what you expect of others or believe God expects of you. My religious background and instilled mindsets often encourage me to be the best I can which isn't bad in and of itself. It's when I won't accept less than perfection from myself (which is impossible) that I get into trouble because then I'm reaching for an unattainable goal.
Don't stop serving even in your weakness-taking your attention off of yourself and your pain may lead to the quickest relief from it! I learned this lesson well when I was pretty significantly depressed earlier this year. I internalized everything, and I was extremely ashamed of my feelings of negativity which was keeping me trapped in isolation. It was only when I could get out of my environment and remind myself of others who also had big needs, or little ones really, that I was able to break out of the mindsets that were very self absorbed and provided little opportunity for change. Blessing someone else is one of the things that brings me the greatest joy and sense of reward in life. No wonder why choosing to serve or help someone else in need when you are feeling needy yourself, may be the perfect remedy to start your recovery process as well.
Don't do it alone- Find support in a safe place with someone you trust. Vulnerability is hard. It's much harder when you have been burned by people you thought cared about you. There is a good chance they did or do care about you, but they are just weak humans trying to do the best they can too, and they might not have even be attempting to make you feel unsafe. That doesn't mean you have to go back to those same people who lost your trust, but don't let that trap you or make you feel like you don't have options. There are counselors, hotlines, pastors, friends and family members in your life or one step away from being in your life that are available to help in hard times. We weren't designed to do it alone, so don't expect that of yourself. Just having someone who is willing to listen can be a huge relief of whatever heavy load or burden you are carrying.
It's not our own strength that allows us to overcome- If you don't believe in God or a higher power of some kind, you may not agree with this. However, I have found that my brokenness can be a beautiful gift! I remind myself that I am very limited in what I am able to do in my own strength, but God has no limitations. It's when I choose to surrender my way and my conviction that I must be reliant on myself alone that I find freedom, strength, and grace to endure the trials of life. He provides to me what is needed in all things.
He will meet you if you cry out to Him-you are never truly alone! The Lord is so compassionate to us in our weakness, and He sympathizes with us! He is also rooting for us! However, He also gave us free will, so He can only intervene to the extent we invite Him to do so because He gave us the gift of choice! I can assure you that in every moment of life, whether good, bad, or ugly, He is patiently waiting for an opportunity to draw near to us! So just ask! Help is only a prayer away! And God is creative in how He meets our needs. He often sends people our direction in our moments of challenge and pain to speak truth and provide physical support as a means of comfort as well. Don't lose hope!
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